We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
