My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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