Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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