Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
