If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
