There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
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She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
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We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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