bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
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Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
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Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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