I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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