i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
