I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize