My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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