how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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