I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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