he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
