i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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