I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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