I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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