Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
