I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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