"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
