the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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