how can u be prego again
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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