well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
