Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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