Sponge bath it is.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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