We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
