Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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