You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Can you bring me the toilet please
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
