he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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