Sry I called you an 8
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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