BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
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she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
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It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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