I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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