the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
