the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
