I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize