we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
