We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
