he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
