Porn is love you can see.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
