The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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