"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
