all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
