I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
