i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
