you guys were way drunker than both of me
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
