my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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