Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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