Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize