Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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