No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
