The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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