I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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