Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Randomize
