I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My life is pants optional.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
