Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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